Lucid dreaming is an amazing thing, don’t get me wrong. I think however, that there’s a lot of people in the community today obsessed with the idea and the notion that they should be able to have lucid dreams every single night, forever. I think it’s a nice idea, but in practice, it’s not so simple…
You see, lucid dreaming is a subtle art and can’t be just conjured up at will, whenever you want. It takes time to learn the methods, and even more time to actually get a grasp on what you can and can’t do in a lucid dream. By wanting to lucid dream every night, you’re holding yourself back from what you might otherwise be able to do.. Let me explain:
The problem with lucid dreaming all the time
It’s not that it’s bad for you or dangerous, because it’s not really. There are no REAL dangers to lucid dreaming, not that we know of. It’s more that it defeats the point of the exercise entirely. Firstly, it’s very difficult to lucid dream as it is, let alone every single night. It’s not a realistic goal to have and even people who’ve been doing this for decades can’t lucid dream every night, reliably.
So there’s that, but also, it can be difficult to focus on your real waking life when all you’re thinking about is reality checks, dreams and lucid dreaming adventures. It can even make your waking life seem dull and lifeless in comparison and that’s never the goal for a true lucid dreamer.
A true lucid dreamer leads an amazing WAKING life and a great dream life. You don’t have to pick one over the other, and in fact when you live your best life in WAKING life, you’ll also have great lucid dreams as a side effect. I always find that I have intense lucid dreams when I’m travelling or if I’ve just done something incredible like a skydive or had a new experience.
There should never be too much focus on the lucid dreaming side of it because you’ll fall into the realm of people who use lucid dreaming for escapism too much. Now, escapism is a good thing as well in some situations, (for example in those who are in prison or unable to live their ideal life for whatever reason, like a disability etc) but for most people the focus should be on living an amazing, inspiring real life FIRST, and then having great lucid dreams SECOND.
This is of course just my opinion and I understand that not everyone will agree with this. I get a lot of emails from people saying things like ‘I just want to lucid dream so I can escape the hell of my school or home life’ and I get that. It can be very tempting to learn something like lucid dreaming just with the goal of being able to escape from a less than ideal real life, but the focus should always be on HOW to improve your waking life, and THEN on how to lucid dream.
So those are my thoughts on that side of things, but then there’s also the issue or idea that when you really do lucid dream (and not just have a vivid dream) you’ll be changed by it anyway, regardless of whether you have a lucid dream every night or every month…
One profound lucid dream can be enough
What I mean by this is that when you REALLY lucid dream and have that intense experience that we’re all craving, that will be enough for you. You’ll be thinking about it for WEEKS or even months after the fact, so there’s really no need to chase the elusive ‘lucid dream every night’ goal. It’s just not realistic, and to be honest, not needed!
I think in the lucid dreaming community we need to really manage our expectations with this stuff and make sure that we’re not just chasing a pointless goal. We need to think about what we’re really trying to achieve here. Lucid dreaming when done right can be a POWERFUL tool for transforming your life or even just experiencing things you’ve never experiencing before. When I had my string of nasty knee operations and wasn’t able to leave the house, I would use lucid dreaming then as an escape, simply because I couldn’t do anything else, and I think THAT is fine..
It’s when perfectly healthy and capable young people focus only on lucid dreaming and not on their real life that things become a problem. This trait is most often found in video gamers who like the escapism and maybe lack the skills or confidence needed to really turn their lives around, and that’s fine I get that..
I just think that people should focus on living their best life, AND having lucid dreams, not just one.
A more realistic goal
So a more realistic goal might be to have one or two lucid dreams a month. This will give you time and space to relax, not beat yourself up about not being able to do it every night, and also (more importantly) time to reflect on the actual dreams you’re having! It’s very important to look at your lucid dreams and read them back to yourself, and relive them through your dream journal.
Not only will this help you spot patterns and dream signs but it will give you that motivation to keep going and to focus on what’s already working well for you. I hope this post hasn’t come across as too much of a rant but I think it needed to be said, seeing as the number of posts about ‘why can’t I lucid dream every night’ are on the rise again.
By the way if you’re struggling to even have your first lucid dream, I’d highly encourage you to check out my lucid dreaming course (Bootcamp) because it really can give you that boost and often gives people their first lucid dream within just a few days of trying the methods and learning what I have to show you.